Well, this weekend didn't go quite as planned...

First off, Boston was a no go on Saturday because late Friday night, Danielle got into a car accident and I rushed out to the scene right away to make sure she was okay. Thankfully, she was okay...just a bit shook up. The car, however, went crunchy in the front end and is going to be in the midst of repair hell probably until Thanksgiving or so. Which is a damn shame because she just got that car, only made two payments on it so far. The important thing is that she's okay, though. However, this nixed my plans to go to Boston (sorry to bail on you so last minute, Chris, but you understand why) so I basically spent the rest of the weekend with Danielle, which isn't a bad thing at all.

We even went with her family to a winery today to do the whole tour and tasting thing. Very, very nice. I might have to go back there and pick up a few bottles, very tasty stuff there. No Halloween stuff really, but that doesn't really bother me. We went to see "Saw" on Saturday night, if that counts as Halloween-ish. Excellent movie, reminded me of "Cube" in some ways. Very freaky.

Off to bed now, I'm exhausted...even though it's technically still early. Damn time change...

Work's been dreadfully boring this week. I suppose that's somewhat good because it means things have been uneventful...and of course, shit's probably going to go down because I'm mentioning it.

In more exciting news however, if the Sox manage to win the series, I shall (hopefully) be taking a drive up to Boston for the victory parade to hang with my friend Chris. Just a quickie one-day thing, but it'll be cool to do something a little different and mostly-spontaneous for a change. It just better be on a Saturday...

On top of that, Mike (from here at work) and I are gonna go see Midtown at Irving Plaza in NY in a couple weeks. I think Matchbook Romance are opening for them, which is doubly good. Two bands I've really wanted to see for a while, especially Midtown though. And then there's Taking Back Sunday later in November. Damn, it's kind of like it was back in the day, going to shows more frequently like Avery and I always used to.

I just need to find a show in the future to take Danielle to - you know, something she actually likes! - so she can finally experience a live show!

Well, I did it...went and dropped my two remaining classes, so I'm officially on hiatus from school for now. It's still up in the air as to whether or not I'm going to start back up with classes in the Spring or wait until the following Summer and/or Fall. Just something I needed to do at this point, especially considering how far I had fallen behind. I feel like a huge weight's been lifted from my shoulders now, though.

Well, without going into too much detail...this weekend was really, really good, aside from the whole being sick deal. Danielle and I are going to be okay, I'm 100% certain of it. In fact, we're even having dinner with her parents tonight. So damn it, everyone can stop worrying about me for now! :P

Went to that nurse today for medicine consultation and am now on new meds. Woo hoo. I keep taking more and more steps back to some semblance of normalcy. I'm actually rather proud of myself with how well I've been doing. Enough of patting myself on the back, though. *laugh*

Work is oddly...quiet today. It's probably because I don't have any music playing today, since all I have on this computer is a bunch of emo and I don't feel like going out to my car for any other CDs. I'm cutting myself off from the emo for a bit, at least until the Taking Back Sunday show next month. If anything, that music - as much as I adore it - wasn't helping my moods in the least.

I got to go see Team America: World Police with Danielle tonight. And I had a really great time. On top of the movie being absolutely hilarious (I still hurt from all the laughing), it was just so good to see Danielle. I'm still smiling, even now. Thanks again for a great evening, hon.

...because I've actually come down with a cold.

For those of you who aren't aware, I don't get seriously sick all that often, but when I do, it's always around Christmas/New Years. In fact, I believe I've gotten sick at that time for the past five years straight. It's as though my body waits the entire year until I have an extended period off from work...and then activates any virus that might have been hiding inside me. Last year was especially vicious because I got sick the first day off from work for the holiday break...and didn't get better until about two days after break was over (actually missing two days of work in the process). I think that came to damn near three weeks. But anyway...

It would seem I've gotten sick two months early, oddly enough. Sore throat, sinus problems, all the wonderful symptoms. It actually started to feel like the holiday season while I was cleaning my apartment because of that super-medicated feeling I've come to associate with the holidays.

Thankfully, I have one pack of ramen left here, so I might make myself up some of that. See if it'll help me regain some of my energy, then I need to make a run to Walmart for some more cold-related items. And if I accidentally sneeze or cough on the cashier, I apologize in advance!

i am worthwhile and valuable.

i am an attractive and appealing person.

i am a person who will be successful and will make a contribution in this world.

i am a talented individual.

okay, the whole laying down thing isn't working for me too well. it's no way for me to feel better about myself. but since i'm still in no shape to go to work, i'm a little limited in what i can do. perhaps i'll finally get to reading the fifth dark tower book that avery keeps bugging me to read.

whatever i end up doing, though...i need to start really taking those steps to make myself better. and i will be better, i'm certain of it. that's a promise to you, danielle. it'll just take some time.

i left work today already. it doesn't look good when the boss is on the verge of either tears or throwing up every ten seconds. not even thinking about class tonight, i'm probably going to drop both of my classes if it's not too late because i've fallen so far behind in my work and it's going to be impossible for me to catch up. for now, i'm just going to go lay down for a bit.

i just want danielle back. that's all i want right now.

For anyone that cares, Danielle broke up with me last week, but it was pretty much finalized tonight. Obviously, I'm not doing well. Haven't been for the past week, but I put on a pretty good show. It's funny...I don't have anyone in Jersey now. I don't even have anyone to put on a local 'Contact In Case Of Emergency' form. I'm really, truly alone this time. I really have no idea what I'm going to do with myself right now. I can't even distract myself with...anything. My life's a perpetual series of fuck-ups, the way I see it.

I just really need some friends right now.

But what I really want is to just make things right again. Whether that can happen, I have no clue.

I didn't quite realize how large my regular Winamp playlist at work was until I actually generated this HTML file for it. Now you have a good idea as to what the FDU Instructional Media Center sounds like daily.

And I think I may have a plan to actually be able to fall asleep extremely early tonight. Once I get home from work around 5, I'm going to finish up reading one of my books for class, then I'm going to just play DDR non-stop for an hour or so. If that doesn't exhaust me enough to make me pass out, nothing will.

All I want to do is sleep right now. Not in the mood for reading, writing, doing homework, playing PS2, or even sitting in front of this damned computer. Just sleep. And I can't even manage that. Someone send me some e-mail or something to keep me from going crazy here.

Yeah, I had big plans to work on a paper and watch MST3K this weekend. Did I do either?

Of course not. Just slept mostly. Paper's not due until next Sunday anyway, so I'll just stall like I normally do.

Looks like I spoke too fucking soon. Apparently, another one of our ceiling LCD projectors was stolen last night/this morning. A $5,000 projector. Which means, in the past couple years, we've had a grand total of about $30,000 worth of projectors stolen. Brilliant security, FDU. Fucking brilliant.

It's been a relatively quiet day at work today. We located the missing DVD player (the professor took it with him on Monday, not realizing it would fuck us for the rest of the week) and aside from that, nothing notable's happened. Not that I'm complaining. I just can't wait to get out of here, as usual.

As for my weekend, probably just going to work on a paper for my lit class and watch a bunch of MST3K. Exciting stuff.

For now, I'll just keep listening to some Brand New, on endless repeat.

Well, I ended up not going to class tonight, which is just as well, since I was stuck helping out a professor until about 6:30 anyway (and my class started at 5:30). I still have no idea specifically what I did to finally get his laptop to display on the LCD projector but I'm just glad that I did. It was one of those panic moments because I seriously couldn't figure out what the hell to do because every configuration I changed, no matter how many times, nothing worked. Then, I tried again to mess with his desktop settings, switched it to 16-bit color or something instead of 32. And then the damn thing popped up on the screen. And I know that the bit switch couldn't have done it because I'd tried that before. Stupid fucking computers. I'm going to go play some PS2 hockey and go to sleep, I'm fucking tired of everything. Ugh.

I swear, the moment I start trusting the faculty at this school, another piece of equipment goes missing. This time, it's one of the new DVD players, nowhere to be found. And coincidentally, we needed it for this entire morning (three total booked, only two DVD players in our possession now) so of course, that causes all sorts of problems. I'm used to it. That stress-induced tingle in my back below my right shoulder blade is acting up again. Woo. I'm used to that at this point too.

I'm probably going to ditch on class tonight as well, unless I have to be here to continue to train a new student worker in my department. If that's the case, I'd be here regardless, so might as well go to class. Otherwise, I believe I'll be going home and calling it another early evening. I haven't gone to bed so consistently early since I was in high school, it's a weird feeling. Produces questions such as "Did you watch the debates last night?" resulting in answers of "Nope, I was in bed by then."

Well, I went through and finally redesigned this dump. Nothing huge or earthshaking, but it's different, at least. With that, I purged my old blog since I was having problems with the archives, comments, and whatnot, so I figured that I might as well just start fresh again.

And since it was lost with the purge, feel free to check out that whole Free IPod deal that I was touting a few weeks ago. I'd still really like one of those 20GB bastards.

With that, I think I'll be off to bed. My left eye's been in severe pain all day, all red and swollen, and it's shown no signs of diminishing. It's just the same thing I'm used to, some combination of allergies, migraines, and stress. Three different kinds of eye drops and not a fucking bit of relief. No surprise, I guess.

Enjoy the new site, loyal readers.